From Frame To Game

GAME Features

From Frame To Game
Porting film titles to game consoles often ain't what it's cracked up to be. Here's a few ideas that would work.

It’s normally an instant recipe for disaster. The whole ‘let’s make a game about the film’ subject nearly always ends in tears for both the games financiers and us, the gaming populace. Yes, we’re left to waste precious time fiddling about with a game that you so dearly want to be as compelling as your cherished movie, but winds up being about as enthralling as a weekend out in Moe.

The same cannot be said about The Bourne Conspiracy. This is a cracking, action-packed title based on the characters from the trilogy, and it prompted us to think up a few good films that, in our opinion, would make quality games.

1/ TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE
OK, this game was released in 1983 as an Atari 2600 title and then as a mobile game, but they were terrible. Thus it deserves a next-gen reimagining. Playing Sally Hardesty, gamers face the task of finding her missing friends. This involves carefully searching the house and grounds of the Texan weatherboard slaughterhouse. The trick here is stealth, so beware of a prowling Leatherface and his bludgeoning sledgehammer, or the vampiric suckling of Grandpa’s toothless mouth. If you’re caught, you face an agonising death on the meat hook or a place in the Sawyer family food chain after chainsaw dissection. Xbox gamer points are deducted when gamers consume human barbeque to restore health.

2/ KRAMER VS KRAMER
Clearly a two-player game, gamers take control of either the father (Ted) or the mother (Joanna) and attempt to win the affection of the son (Billy). Treats and bribes can be effectively employed by both parents in an effort to coerce the child to take sides, but the game eventually heads to the courtroom. Using the triggers on the controllers in quick succession, players use a ‘Decision Maker’ power bar at the bottom of the screen to sway the judge’s mind. The faster you press the more influence you have over the final outcome. The winner goes home with child in hand, the loser with nothing more than a dog-eared polaroid.

3/ THE FOOTBALL FACTORY
Much like FIFA 08, players choose a team from the four leagues in England. Unlike FIFA 08, the action takes place off the pitch. After consuming eight pints in the local pub, gamers must direct their supporters to a pre-arranged location to meet up with the opposition. Stealth and ambush are the big point earners, but avoiding the Old Bill is the main objective. Once in position, it’s an all-in brawl with the last man standing taking honours for their firm. Additional points are awarded for successful navigation back to your home turf.

4/ CALIGULA
This one will obviously be banned from release until Australia receives an R18+ classification for games. An inordinate amount of perverse challenges will greet gamers, including Helen Mirren’s awkward performance in the unique area of dwarf fellation – achieved by systematically hitting the left and right bumper buttons. The opportunity to choose the fate of a felled gladiator by pushing Select would be an irresistible opportunity. Punishments for failing game missions would include burying competitors neck deep to face the decapitation machine and feeding the dogs with... er, watch the film.

5/ THE WILD BUNCH
Aside from robbing banks and trains to establish the gang’s wealth and reputation, this game is all about the final, all encompassing Boss level. For this stage players can either play it as a single player mission, but preferably as part of a four player co-op to represent one of the four remaining gang members. For the brutal finale, this festival of death, players march into the centre of town to rescue their captured comrade from the hands of General Mapache and his legions of Mexican soldiers. And then the fireworks begin. Gamers must attempt the impossible and prevent the hordes of oncoming troops from killing any one gang member. At the centre of this scarlet carnage is the gattling gun, and your ticket to survival.